I had plans for a fantastic fall solo road trip. I was so excited, so cheerful, such trip was going to take me to so many amazing places. Really, I needed this so much and was so ready for it!
I thought I was going to live mid-October but I managed to start it at bit earlier. With the car trunk packed with my life, I headed off with a huge smile on my face!
My first stop at the Ronchamp Chapel was glorious. The light of the Chapel filled my heart with hopes. It was just amazing to be there. Yet, it was nothing compare to what was waiting for me at the second stop at the Royal Saltworks.
Before broadly planning this trip, I didn’t know there was a hotel, inside the Royal Saltworks. When I saw it on Booking, I could not miss on such an opportunity and immediately reserved a room. Oh My!! What an incredible experience. I pretty much had the whole place to myself all evening, except for a handful of other guests. I roamed around until I dropped! It was simply fantastic.
Seriously I was like a child at DisneyWorld! I could not stop smiling. that night, I’m pretty sure I smiled in my dreams.
The early morning was just as amazing. The sun was fighting to shine through the clouds. It gave up, as I was about to live for my next stop which was the Abbey of Fontenay.
I had a hard time reaching the Abbey. Not because it is hard to find but because every single village I passed by, seemed to have something interesting to see. On the road, I saw tones of signs for castles, churches, chapels and other sights. It was so hard to resist. I didn’t resist all of them!
As my trip continued, I kept having the same issues! I could not miss the Vézelay Abbey so I had to make an effort to prioritize.
I really wanted to see the Château de Bazoches where Vauban lived, but I also really wanted to see the Guédelon Castle. Actually I had been meaning to see it for ages. So again I had to choose. So many difficult choices!
At that point, as I was singing my lungs out in the car, I really thought making decisions about which places to stop or not to stop was going to be the hardest part of this trip. Oh, how much I was wrong….
A couple hundred kilometers later, I reached Bourges and its magnificent cathedral. That was the 5th UNESCO World Heritage site I was getting to see on this trip! And there were more to come, or so I thought.
After Bourges, I had planned to spend a few days with my dad, just to make sure he showed up to his doctor’s appointment. Then we were going to work on his Indian. And later, I was going to continue my trip and come back to see him again, before heading back home. A well thought plan… which crumbled apart in the most heartbreaking way.
I’m telling you this, because there is a happy ending. I would have not been able to write any of this, if it wasn’t the case.
So I arrived at my dad’s place cheerful and blissfully ignorant of what was to come. We had a lovely evening, talking about my trip and our plans for the days to come. The next day, we headed to the doctor’s appointment like you go to the bakery. Everything was nice, including the weather and the short queue!
But things were definitively not alright. It took a good hour of the doctor’s time to make it sink in. My dad’s heart was alarmingly weak. It could stop at any time.
I had to take him to the ER and he was hospitalized immediately for exams and to be prepped for heart surgery.
My World shattered. My happiness was all gone. I tried my best to look positive for him. I felt so guilty. Guilty for taking him to the doctor and equally guilty for not taking him sooner. Guilty because it was a Friday and he spent the week end at the hospital… I felt guilty for thinking about my aborted trip… and for all sorts of other reasons and their exact opposite.
During the weeks that followed, I tried to take care of him, of his house, his garden, the paper work… People were calling all the time, I was drained but kept on. Once again, I felt like I was facing this alone, exactly like I had, a year before, when my mom was at the hospital. The timing of the situation couldn’t have been worst.
Again, if I’m managing to publish this, it’s because he made it out and he is doing ok.
After a week of exams in the hospital, he was allowed to return home for 10 days under my constant supervision. The heart surgery was schedule in another hospital, located in the Paris region. This lead to another 10 days of constant back and forth, more paper work, more things to organize.
While he was getting the surgery, I went home for 3 days. Once again, I felt overwhelmed by guilt. I tried to convinced myself that there was nothing else I could do, I was told there no post surgery visit anyway. So I told myself and others, that I needed to change clothes and handle some work emergencies.
The truth is that I needed to be alone if things didn’t go well. I needed to be home to fall apart.
But the surgery was a total success! So I was back on the road. Staying with my family in Paris, until the hospital released him and until the day, I finally was able to take him home.
On our way back to his place, my heart was lighter again. He had been convinced that this trip to the hospital was a one way trip and that he would be soon reunited with my mum. But he wasn’t. I had told my mom she had to wait for him a little longer and I guess, for once, she agreed!
Yet, these lighter feeling didn’t last. I stayed with him a couple days, went back home and then came back to stay for almost 2 weeks. Then, I realized that getting a heart surgery isn’t like changing the battery on a car. It isn’t a perfect fix. It doesn’t prevent having other issues. My dad is getting old, and everyday we had together was a blessing. A blessing that poked my own heart with the bitter truth that he won’t be there forever.
*****
I was gone for over 2 months, apart from the few days I managed to go back home. I drove over 4,000 kilometers. I’ve slept in countless different beds, when sleeping at all.
That could have been an amazing road trip. It was supposed to be something I did for myself, something that filled my soul of happiness and joy.
Instead, I lived some of the darkest days of my life. Days which were so painful, they probably marked my soul forever.
A few additional comments on my itinerary & map
My original planning didn’t include a map! Just a few notes, on a piece of paper. I drew the map to remember. What can I say, I have bad memories and RTatW is my journal!!
Quite of few of the places I had planned to visit or that are on the map, I had already been to. The hospices of Beaune, the Reims Cathedral or Saint Emilion are just examples.
The Padirac Caves, Bort les Orgues and the Chateau du Val, the Lac Pavin and the Puy de Dome in general are all places that I hold dear in my heart, for I have fond memories from my youth, of such places.
And, if you’re wondering what is the place called Mothe Chandeniers indicated on the map, than this is for you:
I’m pretty sure, I have added such drawing to my Postcard page. This means that if you have already subscribed to receive RTatW Newsletter, you can download such drawing for free (a high definition version of it, of course!) If you haven’t yet subscribed to RTatW Newsletter, then what are you waiting for?!
Want to see more maps?
Click on the map below!
